Productive

So today I finally went to the vet to collect a couple things.  I had my cat cremated and sorted to pick up from them, plus I had to pay the bill from when I was there last monday.  The vet was awesome enough to let me pay him later since I was not in the best of shape at the time.  I couldnt even talk because my throat had clenched up so badly.  I was trying to use my hands and head as gestures to reply back to questions but the vet was having trouble himself and couldnt make eye contact with me so it wa shard going.  I mean he'd been looking after Kyo for 15 years of the almost 19 years I'd had him so he was fairly upset over everything too.  One thing about Australians is they absolutely love animals.  You just dont see this in other countries.

So when I got there I had hoped to speak to both vets there to thank them but the stupid place was annoyingly busy.  I guess that happens on a monday.  Out of all the girls who worked at the front counter only 1 was there that recognized me instantly.  Another shame since there were 2 other girls I was hoping to say bye to.  I'd brought in a gift for all of them though and at least I got to see one persons reaction.  She was shocked and super happy, saying it felt like christmas.  Her eyes absolutely lit up.

These were from my favourite cake store nearby.  I've had them both and I adore them.  Told the girl to be careful with the cake.  Its extremely filling so dont go grabbing a huge piece like you would in any other ordinary cake.  This shits gangstah.  Its also disgustingly expensive, but I dont like to half ass gifts.  I would of loved to see this other girls reaction though who I was more familiar with.  And the 2 vets too.  I dont know how often people thank them after something like this.  I'm sure I'll bump into one of them down the road at a store or something.  Happened before.

The girl told me nobody was actually expecting me to return because I'd been so upset before.  I said I couldnt leave my cat here on his own.  So she gave me the box with the things inside and said no one had touched anything inside out of respect for me.  That was pretty cool.

This certificate was inside.  I didnt really think much of it.  I mean its a nice touch, but not for me.  Also the date is horribly wrong.

This was the urn that I got out of the bunch I could select from.  They were supposed to paint it to resemble Kyo.  Hes more grey than black.  Plus he doesnt have frog eyes.   I honestly wasnt expecting much so I'm not too bothered by it.  I plan to get a proper thing of Kyo done down the road when I can afford it as right now I'm absolutely almost out of money.  I'll most likely get something from this place-

http://www.minettesculpture.com/CUSTOM_Pet_Sculptures.php

Looks like the guy goes some pretty good work there.  I'll look around in case I find anything cheaper or better, but for now this is my first pick.

And this is pretty much what I have left.  The companion I'd had for almost 19 years, is just a small pile of dust in a little bag.  I really had to fight to hold my composure.  My mum didnt and happily cried away.  In the end I chose where to bury him despite previously letting my mum choose since I wasnt wanting to get into any arguments.  I mean whats it matter now?  Originally would of liked it in my room but she wont have that, so I wont bother wasting time arguing.  She wanted to bury him in part of the yard that he liked but I know my dad plans to dig that area up down the road so he can install something there so I said no.  And I chose an area of the garden he liked and buried him there.  Mum was happy with the location.  So we dug a deep enough hole and poured the ashes in.

I put the urn in the back under the plant.  Its coated so protected from the rain and stuff.  But I dont care too much if it loses its shine.  Easy to paint again if I feel the urge.  But he did like this area.  Its also the one area he never urinated in.  Heres an old picture from years back of him happily enjoying himself.

Now and then I catch myself looking over my shoulder at the spare chair he'd sleep in since I did it about 100 times a day to make sure how he was.  Its reflex.  All I see now is an empty chair.  I'm doing it less and less but now and then my brain manages to forget hes not here any more.  Its pretty depressing.