You weren't there Lois!

Ok so there is a little bit of a story to tell here. Its HOT. Go outside and you'll hear the zits splitting open on your face. So I understand people's needs to stay cool..but if only you could see the horrors of summer..The way I have seen them..felt them..

I am doing a little project at work near the corner of a back wall. Just some normal innovatory crap. When suddenly I felt goosebumps. Something bad was about to happen. I've been around enough to know..but where?! Then I notice...the costumer approaching me. At first glance I thought it was a fat dude. The kind that drinks to much cheap beer and drives a semi-truck for a living. A double take instead made me realized my fears..it was a WOMAN.

She comes waddle walking over to me wearing a muscle shirt, short denim jeans, and no bra. And by no bra I mean these 50 pound tracks of land are bouncing off her knees like a soccer balls. With each twist of her body she makes, I see these DEATH UDDERS closing in on me. They are so soaked in that sweaty T-Shirt the slapping force would peel the skin off my arms!

I tried to move. Every bit of me wanted to get away but she was on top of me like I was the Cheesecake Factory. She had no restraint to keeping a distance either. NOPE! Had to get right next to me. No matter what way she was facing she gave me a good rub down with those saltwater breast. I was so desperate to not having myself slapped anymore I brought my arms up to my chest. At least they'll be safe there...whats that rubbing on my lap..OH MY G-Baaaaarf!!

The whole ordeal has probably ruined breast for me.