4 years

Things have been a bit everywhere lately.  Getting a new job last month but knowing next month is the end of my contract period is a real annoyance.  Still trying to find something more long term so I can afford that disney world trip.  Its always looking more and more like I'll never get to go because its just so bloody expensive.

For the moment though the only thing I'm thinking about is my cat who died 4 years ago today.  The crippling grief I felt has finally passed, though it took a few years, and the only thing left is absolute emptiness and sadness.  The only thing I have is being able to say hello to he spot I buried him when I leave or come back home since its near the stair case when I come in.  I'm probably one of the few people that do something like this.  Its pretty much a pointless effort and it makes me sad every time I do it, but I do it.  And I dont expect to stop.  If hes in some sort of fantastical spirit mode I  like to think hes sitting there acknowledging me each time.  If not. well, this world is as shit as I know it to be.  Either way I'll keep on doing what I'm doing because thats just how I am.

I miss you