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Friday, August 12, 2011

You weren't there Lois!

Ok so there is a little bit of a story to tell here. Its HOT. Go outside and you'll hear the zits splitting open on your face. So I understand people's needs to stay cool..but if only you could see the horrors of summer..The way I have seen them..felt them..

I am doing a little project at work near the corner of a back wall. Just some normal innovatory crap. When suddenly I felt goosebumps. Something bad was about to happen. I've been around enough to know..but where?! Then I notice...the costumer approaching me. At first glance I thought it was a fat dude. The kind that drinks to much cheap beer and drives a semi-truck for a living. A double take instead made me realized my was a WOMAN.

She comes waddle walking over to me wearing a muscle shirt, short denim jeans, and no bra. And by no bra I mean these 50 pound tracks of land are bouncing off her knees like a soccer balls. With each twist of her body she makes, I see these DEATH UDDERS closing in on me. They are so soaked in that sweaty T-Shirt the slapping force would peel the skin off my arms!

I tried to move. Every bit of me wanted to get away but she was on top of me like I was the Cheesecake Factory. She had no restraint to keeping a distance either. NOPE! Had to get right next to me. No matter what way she was facing she gave me a good rub down with those saltwater breast. I was so desperate to not having myself slapped anymore I brought my arms up to my chest. At least they'll be safe there...whats that rubbing on my lap..OH MY G-Baaaaarf!!

The whole ordeal has probably ruined breast for me.


  1. This is me looking in the window and chortling. Chrotlechortlechortle

  2. Christ on a Bike!
    I haven't laughed that hard in awhile XD

    well Jed, those 6 months of Psychological Recovery will go by in no time ;P

  3. You can't expect super models in Wal-Mart.

  4. It's amazing what a life and death experience will do for your comic posting abilities.

  5. i assume that was Con and all i have to say is that sounded like some kind of new Pokemon "Chortlemon"

  6. lol i havent seen a comic that funny in a while! i have to say if i get in the siduation make a break for it jump over the counter!

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  8. As I read this, I heard Verdi: Requiem (Sequence 2) playing in the back ground.

    And incase you weren't sure what it sounded like: /watch?v=LsZEv7kAllo&feature=player_detailpage#t=558s

  9. O_O so sorry for you Jed..............uggh *shivers*

  10. D:> You can't unsee that...


  11. "A wild female Krogan appears."
    "I always wondered what they looked like..."