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Tuesday, May 14, 2013

The Garden of Shit

My parents love to garden.  My mum has over 80 stupid pots in the yard with some form of plant in it.  And lets not count the trees and other plants that are in the ground.  It takes me about over half an hour to water everything.  Thankfully I only do that when they're both away.  Which is once every decade.  Either way it drives me up the wall come fertilizer time.

Parents buy a huge bag of some kind of SHIT and start to distribute it everywhere.  Flowers dont smell like flowers any more.  They smell like my entire yard bent over and spread its anus.  Its horrible.  But I never imagined how much worse it could get.  Our neighbours have a shitload of trees blanketing the sides and front and back and middle and insides of their yard.  Its like a forest.  And today they did the same thing.  Except it was on a grander scale.  If you left the doors of the house open you could smell it inside.  And I'm not talking a whiff.  This was like the smell was living with you and it brought its smelly relatives.  It was POTENT.  Thankfully we have some nice smelly air-freshener, but fuck me dead I've never experienced that before.  Makes me want to go over there an concrete the entire damn place.  And then concrete our own yard.

1 comment:

  1. Having a large garden is quite a hassle, glad mine is small, simple and does not have any kind of smell. I wonder what kind of shit garden party pack is it, could not imagine why those stuff were invented and for what purpose lol